Together From Now On

October 19, 2019

Hearing from you made me very happy; I am excited you are thinking of me again and I’m so glad you wrote me.  While reading your letter I kept thinking,  “I can’t believe she remembers all of this from such a long time ago.” 

But there’s a huge difference between how I feel as a child and how you tell the story. I wanted to scream while reading your letter. I wondered why you didn’t mention the times when I worried and feared being abandoned. Why did you make coloring sound so fun and exciting, knowing full well with each stroke of the crayon I wondered if this would be my last encounter with mom for a while? I mean sure, it wasn’t always that way but my feelings of loneliness, uncertainty, and sadness outlasted all of the happy times combined. 


Did you forget?


I am happy you went to counseling and found God but if we want to truly heal, we must tell the truth and if you won’t, I will. Now, let me look at your letter again to see where you left off. Oh, here we are, living in the South End. Now, I must admit that we did have some good times there in the beginning – especially during the summer. My biggest worry then was how my hair looked after going swimming at the neighborhood pool. I wished I had “good hair” like my best friend but instead my hair was nappy and thick, which sucks because pressing day wasn’t until Friday. And don’t get me started on pressing day. Sitting in the kitchen with one eye closed and my right shoulder raised, hoping the Blue Magic grease and hot comb stays a few inches away from my scalp. Pressing day was stressful and marked the end of my fun weekend because grandma wanted the hair on my neck to still be straight for Sunday school.

Our new house is on a Summit Avenue. Do you remember this house? Come; let’s walk to the street. If you look to your right you will see my school, McHenry Elementary. I hate it there but mom says I can’t go back to Lucas so I may as well get use to it. I thought it would be cool having my school right across the street; especially when its cold out but there is nothing cool about this neighborhood or this school. There isn’t one girl that I can call a friend here and I think I know why. 

But we can talk about that later-lets go back inside the house. Make sure you’re really quiet; mom has friends over and I can’t disturb them. We can go in my bedroom and watch all of the action through my secret window in the door right by the knob. Mom and her friends don’t always like each other but today things seem to be going okay. Look at them; they seem to be having so much fun. I wonder what they talking about that’s so exciting? They even get to share a strange looking glass bottle. It’s kind of hard to see through this hole, but it looks like they are using that same smoking toy as Donald Duck except his is made of wood. Are you watching? 

Wait a second, that’s weird, everyone appears to be falling asleep after taking a smoke? I see people smoking outside all the time and they never get sleepy but whatever. I see all of mom’s friends using it but I bet she won’t. Mom told me that smoking was bad and that we should never do it. 

Anyway, I’m done watching them, back to us. You said in your letter that we are back together again. That’s good, but if that’s the case I want to tell our story together from now on.  I have a lot to say, but no one to say it to. So, can I? Can I tell it with you? 

That’s fine with me, young Niccoll. That’s fine with me.  

You Might Also Like

  • Holly Bird October 21, 2019 at 7:51 pm

    It amazing the things we remember and the same situation some people remember it differently! Inspiring post!! Thank you for sharing!

  • Adrienne October 22, 2019 at 1:06 am

    I think it’s beautiful that you still found the childlike wonder in life when surrounded with difficult things. I hope your loved one continues on the path and your relationship can be salvaged. Thanks for sharing your story.

    • Nytanya Lauderdale October 23, 2019 at 12:44 pm

      I agree, the child mind is so innocent until that is taken away. I am glad you enjoyed it.

  • Tricia Snow October 22, 2019 at 2:55 am

    What a touching and vulnerable story. Thank you for opening yourself up!

  • Michelle October 22, 2019 at 4:13 am

    Your articles are so raw – I love them!

    • Nytanya Lauderdale October 23, 2019 at 12:47 pm

      Thank you. Please subscribe for notifications of upcoming articles.

  • Crystal October 23, 2019 at 12:08 pm

    This is awesome I am sooo proud of my friend! And the ability to be so transparent, you don’t know how many people you are helping by allowing God to use you!!!

  • Marah November 6, 2019 at 5:37 am

    I don’t know how I found this blog but as I read it I realized I know her. The tears rolled. I commend you for taking control of your healing. I know it’s a hard road as I’ve traveled it too. Continue to shine and inspire others.

    • nlauderdale November 9, 2019 at 9:25 pm

      Thank you for your support and transparency. This is my true story of overcoming by hard work and Gods Grace. Please continue to follow. Again, thank you.

  • ปั๊มไลค์ June 1, 2020 at 12:45 am

    Like!! Really appreciate you sharing this blog post.Really thank you! Keep writing.

  • article September 30, 2020 at 5:25 pm

    This website was… how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I’ve found something which helped me. Thanks a lot!

  • click here October 12, 2020 at 10:02 am

    I could not refrain from commenting. Very well written!

  • Rosalyn Myron December 9, 2020 at 6:26 pm

    superb article

  • Colby Baumgartel December 12, 2020 at 1:38 pm


  • supreme December 22, 2020 at 9:27 pm

    I抦 impressed, I must say. Really not often do I encounter a weblog that抯 each educative and entertaining, and let me let you know, you’ve got hit the nail on the head. Your idea is excellent; the problem is one thing that not enough persons are speaking intelligently about. I’m very completely satisfied that I stumbled across this in my seek for one thing referring to this.

  • yeezy boost 350 v2 December 24, 2020 at 9:19 pm

    Oh my goodness! an incredible article dude. Thank you Nevertheless I’m experiencing subject with ur rss . Don抰 know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting an identical rss problem? Anybody who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx